The grades are
in, the tassel switched
sides and the diploma is
in hand.
Let the parties
begin.
After hundreds of
area high school
graduates make "the
walk" next month,
graduates, parents,
teachers and coaches
will begin the juggle of
attending dozens of
parties throughout the
summer.
It's the third party
season for Tim and Kathy
McCulloch, whose third
child, Matt, will
graduate from Parker
High next month. It's
usually a scramble for
party planners-the
parents-but keeping the
fun and purpose involved
is key, McCulloch said.
"Really, No. 1 is
what the kids want to
do," she said.
While finding the
right date and deciding
on food are part of the
process, she jokes about
how having a grad party
creates the motivation
needed to fix up the
house.
"You think of all
these projects you've
wanted to do for 10
years, (and somehow)
they all get done," she
said. "It's just kind of
comical."
The biggest tip is,
"What does the graduate
want?" said Ginger
Venable, who co-authored
with Mary J. Anderson
the book, "Graduation
Parties! Everything You
Need to Know From Start
to Finish."
The pair of moms with
plenty of party planning
experience also run a
Web site with tips at
www.graduationparty.com.
If you're GIVING a
party …
Announcements &
invites: Announcements
are to let family and
friends know that your
child is graduating.
They are not an
invitation to a party,
and Venable strongly
believes they shouldn't
be considered as a
request to send a gift.
"I really think
people should be proud
of their kids and send
out an announcement, and
it does not mean to send
a gift," she said.
People who receive an
announcement can send a
card of congratulations
or good luck and
shouldn't feel obligated
to mail a check for $10,
she said.
If you're having a
party, Venable
recommends sending
invites three weeks in
advance without a
request for an RSVP.
"You won't get them,"
she said.
Timing & audience:
Graduation parties are
appropriate all summer,
Venable said, but by
mid-August many
graduates will be
leaving for college.
Toward the end of
summer, graduation
parties could be renamed
"farewell" parties.
Most people have open
houses, and Venable
recommends three hours.
"I think two is too
short and four is too
long," she said.
Many families hold
two separate times for
adults and for the
graduate's friends.
The same idea works
for a graduate with
divorced parents. The
first two hours could be
for one side of the
family and the last two
hours for the other
side, Venable said.
Shared parties are
easier to plan,
McCulloch said. Her
oldest daughter had her
party with four of her
friends on a farm for
about 500 guests.
"Somebody always had
an avenue for chairs,
food, tents," she said.
Food: "If you have a
party on a Saturday or
Sunday, everybody and
their brother is having
a party, so I strongly
recommend holding back
on how much food you
serve," Venable said.
"If the party is on a
Tuesday night, it's a
whole different story."
Nesco roasters and
Crock-Pots are your
friend, McCulloch said.
She had to guess and
ask the experts in the
deli department when
making food for her
second daughter's party
at home.
"If you have 100 or
some people, have a
couple Nescos of a
couple options and
you're good to go," she
said.
Alcohol: Venable
strongly recommends not
serving alcohol.
If you do, she
recommends asking a
friend or hiring a
professional to serve as
a bartender to serve
only adults.
It's not just about
serving, but storing,
Venable said. Graduates
could grab a case of
beer at 10 a.m. from
storage, and you
wouldn't even know, she
said. She recommends
storing all alcohol in a
secure, supervised
place.
An adult atmosphere
has prevented problems
when the McCulloch
family had alcohol
available in coolers at
past parties.
Kids aren't going to
be drinking when they're
around coaches and
teachers at a party, she
said, but that doesn't
mean they've never had a
drink at another
graduation party.
Dealing with gifts:
Don't expect them,
Venable said, and don't
unwrap them at the
party.
"It's really awkward
if half the people
didn't bring something,"
she said.
Venable recalled one
mother who taped all the
checks a student got to
the inside of a cabinet
door and didn't allow
the graduate to cash
each one until the
thank-you notes were
written.
Other advice: Try a
theme party. "The
Mexican fiesta is very
popular because it lends
itself so much to the
menu, and it's easy to
decorate for," Venable
said. "A lot of people
are tired of their high
school colors, so go
with their college
colors or just pick some
colors they like."
-- Get help. Find a
family member or
neighbor who has a
younger child and make
an agreement to help
each other. Assign
someone to replenish the
food so you can focus on
your guests.
"Even if you have to
hire someone, it makes a
huge difference,"
Venable said.
-- Think about the
resources you have
available through
friends and family,
McCulloch said.
Whether it's
borrowing tables and
chairs from church or a
power washer from a
friend to clean the
house siding, see how
your connections can
help you.
-- When you're
finding addresses for
your guests, make a
spreadsheet on the
computer. The list can
help print labels and
will help in the future
if you have more than
one child.
If you're GOING to
a party …
So many parties, so
little time: For Karen
Fuhrmann, whose son Ben
will graduate from
Parker this year, the
stack of party invites
keeps growing, and she
already has five parties
in one day.
"I hope to go to
every one," she said.
The main factor in
deciding how many
parties and which ones
to attend is your
schedule, parents and
experts agree.
"Go to the ones that
you can," Venable said.
Stay a minimum of 15
minutes, she said, and
base your length of stay
on your schedule and how
well you know the party
hosts.
Do I bring a gift?:
It's up to you, but
don't feel obligated,
Venable said. It depends
on how well you know the
person and your
financial situation.
Here's some of her
ideas:
-- Give money in the
amount of the
year-$20.07.
-- If you're giving
money, write a check
rather than give cash
because it forces the
graduate to take it to
the bank, which may make
them decide to deposit
it.
-- Stock up on
greeting cards by buying
in packs instead of one
at a time.
McCulloch has mulled
the gift idea for years
and hasn't come up with
a good idea, she said.
Be creative, she
said, by enlarging a
special photo of the
graduate. Ultimately,
though, kids are looking
for money, she said,
which can turn into a
money swap.
"It feels like you're
taking that $20 here and
(they're) bringing it
back," she said.
But she's not
expecting guests to
bring gifts; their
attendance at the party
is what's important, she
said.
She said she'd almost
feel dumb if a teacher
or coach showed up with
a gift, because the
party also is to thank
them for all they've
done for the graduate.
"It's mainly to
celebrate the
accomplishment and thank
God they made it through
high school and are
pushing on to the next
level," McCulloch said.
"Just have fun with it.
It only happens once."
